I was sweating even before 10 in the morning, trying to finish my morning coffee, but deciding it was just too hot. My daughter had her toys spread out on her blanket, playing, while the rest of us chatted and cheered. We spent two baseball games like this before leaving the complex for lunch.
As soon as we returned to the ballfields, the place was jarred by the lightning alarm screeching out a warning and we spent the next 2 hours…or more, watching for the clouds to move on and waiting for the all clear to play. My daughter left with grandparents and we waited it out with our 10 year old ball player.
Late in the afternoon, the tournament was finally called. We got home around five and decided we had just enough time to shower the sweat off and head to the movies. Since we our youngest was still with grandparents, we thought it would be a perfect time to take Brody to see Solo.
Our supper of tacos we planned would just have to wait. We told him to grab a snack. We would have popcorn at the movie and maybe grab a bite afterwards. We made it just in time and enjoyed the show (even me, surprisingly, since I don’t normally join the boys on their Star Wars outings).
Since we had the souvenir mega bucket of popcorn, no one really wanted supper. We drove by the coffee shop, but decided even that was too much. So, at around 8:45 we headed home for good.
We were about a mile from our house. Brody was in the back seat reading a book (don’t ask me how because it was nearly dark, and don’t be impressed, his ipod had been taken for misbehavior). I was skimming through Facebook on my phone.
My husband grabbed the steering wheel with two hands and a WHOA came out in something slightly calmer than a yell. I looked up to see a white tail deer skim past our front bumper, only to jerk my head to the left as a second deer rammed into the driver’s side door.
And just like that everything changed.
Don’t worry. We were fine. Brody didn’t even seem a little bit rattled. The poor deer didn’t make it but she will provide many meals for a family, so not all was lost (remember this is the South). We called the police, got an accident report, and nursed our damaged car the remaining mile home.
In an instant, our lives were impacted, thankfully minor, but I got to thinking about the timing of that accident. It was perfect. All day long, events had fallen in and out of place so that that exact moment would happen. The precision it took to align the deer with our car was amazing. I mean think about it. We waited and waited for the ball tournament to be cancelled. On a whim, we decided to go to the movies. But, we decided not to eat supper afterward. Or get coffee and ice cream. We caught one red light but maybe drove through a couple green ones. Who knows… But I saw God’s fingers in every moment of my day, aligning those moments, all to lead to this specific one.
While this is probably going to become a major inconvenience, it was comforting to know that this event was allowed for a purpose.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
But, as the way things normally happen, when I finally got home, unwound from the excitement, and settled in my bed, all the doubt began to creep in the darkness.
What if it is totaled? It was nearly paid off and we wanted to go without a car payment for as long as possible. That plan could be ruined.
What am I going to do for a car while my husband is at work? What if Brody has baseball in the morning?
What is our deductible? How much of our savings will that eat? Is that one more hurdle we have to cross before I can hope to have a beach vacation?
I mean, I bet you can relate. The doubts and questions and worries hit as quickly as that poor deer. Thankfully, the Spirit reminded me of something in the midst of my worries and doubts.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
Just hours before, I stood out on a dark country road, waiting for the police, amazed at how my day had all been orchestrated to this moment and I knew God had intentions to work it for good.
I was amazed at God’s timing. How each decision of the day lined up and lead to that moment. So if I stand amazed in His timing, I have to follow through.
I have to trust Him as well.
I have to trust that all these little details adding up to this larger moment will serve a greater purpose.
Essentially, I see God telling me I have to put my money where my mouth is. It was easy to stand amazed – until things got real, until I started thinking about the numbers and the logistics of life. But that is exactly what God needs me to do.
And without faith it is impossible to please God…
He didn’t spend the energy to orchestrate my day so that I would doubt. He did it to show me who He is, to give me the opportunity to see Him at work, to test my faith and trust in Him, and to really show me how He works.
But do you know what was even better… I have been blogging for exactly a year, and I was just about ready to call it quits. I was lacking motivation. I still feel overwhelmed and lost in the blogging world and I was wondering (still wondering to some degree) if this is what God wanted me to do.
I haven’t really had much to write about or much of a direction to take for the future and overall I just felt blah about blogging!
This encounter with the deer, however, gave me a lot to think about. I thought about God’s timing in the single days that add up to the months and years. I thought about the trust that is required, even after I realize God’s hand is in it all. It’s not enough to recognize Him. I have to trust Him also. I thought about how this is such a minor incident, but I am still reminded of a great deal… reminders that will prove beneficial in more difficult moments of life.
And all those thoughts gave me this blog post. They have inspired me to write again. So if hitting that deer serves no other purpose, the moment gave me something.
I still feel overwhelmed in the blogging world. I still wonder if this is what I really should be doing. But, I have felt like this many times before and will work through it this time too.
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
And even as I barely keep my head above water in the blogging ocean, I find comfort in knowing God was present in my Saturday. My southern Saturday of baseball tournaments and deer encounters was worthy of God’s attention. It was – still is – part of His plan. But more than that, I have to trust it. I have to trust it in the light with my family all around and in the dark moments, when I am all alone.
From the seemingly insignificant moments to the life altering ones, God is there. And it’s not enough just to know He is there. We have to trust Him to handle it all, in the process.